katharsis

a song for all the pain you give me today
i hoped by far enough for your thinking of me - in vain
i don't want a rotting excuse - just to let you know
i trusted you - if you know what that means.

your pity is touching, isn't it
your grace is so infinite
"well, it will be better for the both of us..."
how beneficent consoling...

the tiny little something
which is left of me
can just write this small song
and keeps decaying

a song for all the others i was decieved by
are there no angels anymore dreaming of princes?
a song for all the silent ones i could use an advice of
i can't wait any longer, your time limit has expired

the great hope
i just keep on tugging myself
through all the empty people
and then i find you
sometime
and then it will all be worth while

get out of the way
get out of the light
don't bar your hearts
don't bar my sight
let me see her
and she colour my bleak eyes,
kiss me from inside
and let die the most of inside of me -
then i'll be pure,
then i'll be pure,
then i'll be pure...

comment: a very old one... category "lyrics we once were glad about but wouldn't write again".

d.

since you're gone my heart is freezing
and i'm dreaming in black and white without sound

since you're gone i'm growing old
i can't even cry — but so what...

since you're gone i'm getting cold
and i don't feel any sunbeam
 
since you're gone i am afraid
you might pretend nothing happened...

    i feel as if i'm losing something —
        every day a little bit.
    i feel as if i'm losing you —
        and nothing is left...

        send me long letters!
        just call me!
        and any time you think of me
        light some candles...

        you don't even send a postcard.
        you never call me, too.
        you've already forgotten about me...
        i'm sorry...
        i trusted you...

    i feel as if i've lost you —
        every day a little bit.
    i feel as i i'm losing all the time -
        why always me?!?

comment: well, you know... the early years...

in his name

original title: "in seinem namen"

there you have the images of a god
they set colours onto the highest's throne
don't look directly into their suns
to get you back - they're already waiting

there you have the words of a god
he attached great importance to good form
don't listen to closely to what they say
what they have up their sleeves - you already know

it is only inspiration
vague sketches and contours
look for the highest inside of yourself
and not inside of images or words

»while we are standing,
the shadow is falling down.
morning sun blueprints the first drawing.
to stand in blossom is a deadly business,
but we agreed: we live.«

soundlessaying (slaves of love)

original title: "lautlossagen (l'esclave de l'amour)"

i. vow of silence

if i asked you now: "let's speak about being silent", would you smile at me and be silent? no, since you don't understand me. you'd rather ask what that's supposed to be good for, for you would have nothing to say, and that's something different from the kind of silence which i thought about. you don't understand me. let's be silent about something else.

ii. enters she the room

i.

she doesn't speak too much
and to understand her
is like interpreting a dream

tells whole worlds
without a word
she enlivens the room

we passed our time away in silence
did not think we were happy
but simply were it

gauged our senses
opened ourselves
and were free

"i don't even know for myself who i actually am. whether i am that way the other's say i am, or the way i think for myself i am? no idea. or whether i am like the musik i listen to?"

ii.

we withdrew inside ourselves
not each on our own
but in agreement with each other

were silent
about problems
of immeasurable insignificance

in a life
where you promise/make a slip of the tongue
too often

we don't rely on empty words
to arise purely
in fulfilled silence
in fulfilled silence

not the one who doesn't speak
is dumb
but the one who doesn't say anything

and so we are ablaze with
how nobody could say:
»i thought it over...«

"i am infinitely lonesome, but in my loneliness it teems with people. this feeling never left me alone. i don't think about death. many poeple ask me what i want to do when i'm old; i don't waste a single thought about that today."

iii.

healing night's evening
ballerina
candles — roses — wine

tells own islands
without a movement
she's leaving the room

is not quite lonesome any more,
and who knows?

where will she be?
who will she be?
whom will she be?

until the next time.

(followed by a discussion about what comes after death)

comment: well, "lautlossagen" is absolutely untranslatable! it starts with the title, which is by far not the only neologism in it. i wonder if it makes any sense to someone — which is a pity, for this is still one of our favourite compositions, with lyrics like an escher-drawing.