in his name

original title: "in seinem namen"

there you have the images of a god
they set colours onto the highest's throne
don't look directly into their suns
to get you back - they're already waiting

there you have the words of a god
he attached great importance to good form
don't listen to closely to what they say
what they have up their sleeves - you already know

it is only inspiration
vague sketches and contours
look for the highest inside of yourself
and not inside of images or words

»while we are standing,
the shadow is falling down.
morning sun blueprints the first drawing.
to stand in blossom is a deadly business,
but we agreed: we live.«

for fear of nearness
or:
about my wish to go before you leave me
(and when this will finally be over)

original title: "aus angst vor nähe — oder: von meinem wunsch zu gehen, bevor du mich verläßt (und wann das endlich aufhört)"

only now i open my eyes and see into my face
only now that it's to late, only now that you're already gone
only now i think about what you actually meant
by saying i had to do my part as well an you can't make it all alone

again and again
only afterwards i recognise
how much you were right and how degrading i have been
in that way, your parting words come true just within a short time:
»what annoys me the most is your self-pity!«

»oh, if only i had..« and »if only i still could...«
»i wish that...« and »i would...« and
»i wanted to...« but it shouldn't
»if i did...« but i didn't
»i had planned...« i used to say and dream,
by doing so i forgot about it
and wasted my next chance...

everything was so simple — you just say how bad you are
and are immediatly confirmed in that, for no-one contradicts.
but to be honest to myself: what can you say at all then?
if a loved person destroys him-/herself, you can't stand that too long.

so i forced everyone to leave me alone
and then persuaded myself that they all hated me,
but if it's not too late, i'd like to ask you:
teach me how to tell myself: 'i love me.'

ex.

god lend me his eyes — i saw them blind.
god lend me his ear — i screamed it deaf.
god lend me his mouth — i broke his word.
god lend you his horns — and i believe you are still wearing them...

oh god — lend me your innocence tonight
i know i don't deserve it
through the night towards the light

god lend me his wings — i teared them out.
god lend me his hand — i threw it away.
god lend me his heart — i beat it to death.
god lend you his womb — and i believe you sold it...

oh god — lend me your patience tonight
i know i don't deserve it
through the night towards the light

comment: i'm afraid "ex." will rarely be understood in the way it's supposed to be. i don't like the idea of writing an 'official interpretation' of any of our lyrics, but i think it could be useful to let you know that "ex." is not meant to hurt anyone's religious beliefs. actually, it's not about religion at all...

the time-lapsers

original title: "die zeitraffer"

buying, buying,
i want to drown
in consume-mentality

running this way, running that way
taking all
what i can get

own a lot
don't miss anything
run to the shop, but i'm too late

i forgot
i still must eat something
fast-food — old oil is boiling

katharsis

a song for all the pain you give me today
i hoped by far enough for your thinking of me - in vain
i don't want a rotting excuse - just to let you know
i trusted you - if you know what that means.

your pity is touching, isn't it
your grace is so infinite
"well, it will be better for the both of us..."
how beneficent consoling...

the tiny little something
which is left of me
can just write this small song
and keeps decaying

a song for all the others i was decieved by
are there no angels anymore dreaming of princes?
a song for all the silent ones i could use an advice of
i can't wait any longer, your time limit has expired

the great hope
i just keep on tugging myself
through all the empty people
and then i find you
sometime
and then it will all be worth while

get out of the way
get out of the light
don't bar your hearts
don't bar my sight
let me see her
and she colour my bleak eyes,
kiss me from inside
and let die the most of inside of me -
then i'll be pure,
then i'll be pure,
then i'll be pure...

comment: a very old one... category "lyrics we once were glad about but wouldn't write again".

urtica dioica

original title: "pokrzywa"
(well, some secrets should remain, shouldn't they?)

sparks inside my soul
increases smouldering
and now like purgatory
it flows onto my heart

a feeler originates inside of me
touches its way down
and now inside the center of me
it observes the purgatory

bites its way through
and through and through and
and thoroughly not without pain

a conflagration, far far away
too far, cannot extinguish
and now the second one
extinguishes like in rain

piling up inside of me
it almost proceeded too far yet
and now new things arise
but do not forget the pain as well

eats me up
and up and up and
she will never stop

up and up and up and up and good bye...

i'd like to cry now, but please turn round before
i'd like to cry now, but please turn round before
i'd like to cry now, but please turn round before...

up and up and
she will never stop

up and up and up and up and good bye...

the question

original title: "die frage"

whenever you ask me
wheter i do still love you,
if feel as if i
already said 'no.'

because, if i wished
something to maintain between us
you would know that
and wouldn't have asked for it.

miserable.

original title: "elend."

stood head-bowed lost around
mourninglooking — something wrong with you?

came kneeshaking hoping nearer
morewordwanting — 'just ask'

who am i? — you don't know
how could you...

you gave me your weight
and danced away with my happiness...

all that glitters is rarely gold -
you the most.

through you i acquainted with a dead friend — me,
who cares for me again now.

every new acquaintance like this one
makes one more lonely —
you the most.

all that glitters is rarely gold —
you the most.


no time for much talking,
no time left for the both of us —
the only thing remaining is the memories of things
which never were...
another fourteen cigarettes
and you're equal everywhere
which is unhealthy in every respect,
but how can that be my fault?
by delusion of psycho-analysis
i dared overseeing
that broken promises are
lived out consideration.
it's easier to love you
when you're not standing beside me
and i have to close my eyes to see you.
from now on, i will only count backwards.
from now on, i will only count backwards.

because everything always was better before...

comment: again lyrics full of not-yet-existing words. by the way, this was the first song the /'angstalt/ ever composed, back in early 1995.

coffinstonefall (version)

original title: "sargsteinschlag (version)"

suspended thoughtless — yearning
without knowig which way to go

diving infinite — endlessly
without knowig the direction

yeah, we love unscrupulous — soulbutchering
without knowig who or why

dreaming without thinking — thoughtless
does only the very moment exist?

coffinstonefall

»dreams bring life,
the euphoria, the passion —
painting you without seeing your face«

coffinstonefall

comment: most of our lyrics play with words which do not even exist in german — like "sargsteinschlag" or "seelschlachtend". that is because for a lot of things no-one found a name yet... and some may think: "yeah, and for some names there aren't things yet!"

soundlessaying (slaves of love)

original title: "lautlossagen (l'esclave de l'amour)"

i. vow of silence

if i asked you now: "let's speak about being silent", would you smile at me and be silent? no, since you don't understand me. you'd rather ask what that's supposed to be good for, for you would have nothing to say, and that's something different from the kind of silence which i thought about. you don't understand me. let's be silent about something else.

ii. enters she the room

i.

she doesn't speak too much
and to understand her
is like interpreting a dream

tells whole worlds
without a word
she enlivens the room

we passed our time away in silence
did not think we were happy
but simply were it

gauged our senses
opened ourselves
and were free

"i don't even know for myself who i actually am. whether i am that way the other's say i am, or the way i think for myself i am? no idea. or whether i am like the musik i listen to?"

ii.

we withdrew inside ourselves
not each on our own
but in agreement with each other

were silent
about problems
of immeasurable insignificance

in a life
where you promise/make a slip of the tongue
too often

we don't rely on empty words
to arise purely
in fulfilled silence
in fulfilled silence

not the one who doesn't speak
is dumb
but the one who doesn't say anything

and so we are ablaze with
how nobody could say:
»i thought it over...«

"i am infinitely lonesome, but in my loneliness it teems with people. this feeling never left me alone. i don't think about death. many poeple ask me what i want to do when i'm old; i don't waste a single thought about that today."

iii.

healing night's evening
ballerina
candles — roses — wine

tells own islands
without a movement
she's leaving the room

is not quite lonesome any more,
and who knows?

where will she be?
who will she be?
whom will she be?

until the next time.

(followed by a discussion about what comes after death)

comment: well, "lautlossagen" is absolutely untranslatable! it starts with the title, which is by far not the only neologism in it. i wonder if it makes any sense to someone — which is a pity, for this is still one of our favourite compositions, with lyrics like an escher-drawing.

butterfly's dream

original title: "schmetterlings traum"

i thought i had to be real
but which fact could prove me?
i percieve a rhythmical knocking
which escapes here and there

while my planet 
with a speed of 107.000 km/h
makes its way
i seem to maintain a firm footing...

within seconds
a tree changes its garment
and only because i am thinking
i don't know at all if i am

now, do i exist?
	— or does this still lie ahead of me?
or did i leave that state
	already
		behind me?

furious time,
which we for our safety
presumptuously
learned to measure,
flyes together with us
through our lives...

now, do i exist?
	— or does this still lie ahead of me
or did i leave that state
	already
		behind me?

thoughts like these
slink through my brain
an i must reject them in all haste

so that i can function.